Heathrow hell

Aah, no better way to start the holidays then with a nice weekend break! I have just come back from a few wonderfully relaxing days in Switzerland (the one in Europe, not the Central Asian cousin just yet). It was beautiful. Fresh snow upon my arrival meant that we even got to spend a day enjoying the slopes, whereas yesterday I spent the whole day strolling around Zürich basking in the sun. That's the life! It was a great way of recharging the batteries before facing those long weeks of study ahead of me.

They say you have to take the bad with the good. The bad in this case then would definitely be Heathrow Terminal 2. I don't normally fly out of Heathrow, mainly because it doesn't get those bright orange planes. London Gatwick is my airport of choice. It is closest by and has plenty of affordable flights. Unfortunately the orange people have had some difficulty breaking into the Swiss market so a Swiss airlines flight out of Heathrow it had to be. I was stunned! Heathrow T2 was built in the '50s and by the looks of it, it hasn't so much as seen a paint brush since. There is also something really disturbing about the check-in hall. The ceiling is so low you get the impression they actually forgot to include this floor in the original design. Then when somebody finally noticed the omission they split one of the levels in half. Truely claustrophobic. Everything about that place feels so hopelessly outdated, improvised and just generally inefficient.

Going through security is your basic comtemporary airport nightmare. At Heathrow, security checks are done before entering the departure lounge so everybody has to join the same endlessly meandering queue. Clearing security itself has these days become a rather embarrassing experience, especially if you travel with carry-on luggage only. The transparent zip-lock bag for your liquids allows your fellow travellers to scrutinise exactly what brand of toothpaste you use and how many tubes of facial cream and war paint it takes to keep you looking presentable. As if you weren't feeling exposed enough not only do you have to remove the usual coats and jackets but they also make you take off your shoes. If only I had remembered to buy some new socks.... Then while your luggage is scanned for explosives and pointy objects, some big burly security woman gets to feel you up. By the time you reach the departure lounge you feel strangely violated.

Thankfully after all that humiliation I could put myself in the hands of the Swiss who reassure you in no less than 4 languages that all will be well and you should just sit back and eat your chocolate. The plane arrived right on time with proverbial Swiss precision. The airport looked smooth and spotless. Within minutes I was outside. Time to let the "Zwitserlevengevoel" begin!